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Life
can be good after divorce at 40
By Barbara Smith
for GwinnettForum.com
TUCKER, June 12, 2001 -- Think back about 20 years....
remember "Alan and Naomi"....the book....the hearing?
Well, this is from that mom...Barbara Wilkes, now Barbara Smith.
I have been meaning to get in touch with you for ages and then
I saw that you were retiring. Your Forum...sounds like fun!
Let me offer to you my thanks for a job well done all these years...for
your wonderful articles about Gwinnett. But, I will never forget
your interest and encouragement when we were going through that
book hearing when my daughter was in the Third Grade!!! (She's 28
now...living in Nashville...happily married....and hoping to adopt
a baby in July after six years of waiting).
That whole experience with book hearings was an eye-opener for
me to get involved...to wake up...and I did. I'll never forget you
publishing my letters (what did ever happen to Alton Crews?) and
giving me a forum for the "cause". And you gave us a whole
bag of Vidalia onions when we were at the library hearing portion
of that ordeal. I NEVER see a Vidalia onion without thinking of
you....honestly!!!
I've been divorced for about 11 years and have the second best
job (the first was being a mom for 20 years). I do home infusion
(IV) care all over Metro Atlanta and have for more than nine years.
I've got lots of stories...going into people's homes for these
nine years...well, it's been interesting to say the least, especially
at the height of the AIDS crisis. Here I am, "Mrs. Suburban
Housewife/Mom", into the darkness of AIDS.
Sad as it was (still is), it taught me much about compassion....something
I didn't know I had until I had to dig deep and look beyond stereotypes
and the "unlovely". Had about four years of that intensity.
Today I deal with a lot of cancer...lots of diabetics (an epidemic
for sure....no one knows how to eat right in this country)....and
incredible amounts of autoimmune diseases...lupus, MS. Anyway, I've
been stretched!!!
When I had to go to work, I told the Lord (I'm REAL good at telling
Him how my life should go!) that I wouldn't work in a hospital,
that I wouldn't stick anyone (with a needle) and that I wouldn't
take care of AIDS patients. He laughed. I got one of the three---no
hospital work. I'm an IV nurse now. I was the poster child for fear
and lack of confidence!! Graduated from Dekalb Nursing School in
1979 but never used it until 1991!!!
But, God is good....He showed me that I had more going for me than
I ever dreamed...with His guidance, of course!!!! I would love to
tell other women who get "displaced" like I did around
age 40 and who are scared of life like I was, that divorce is survivable
and "second" lives can be even better than the "first"
ones if you learn to grow, forgive and laugh! The best job I'll
ever have was raising my girls....but doing what I do now is a blessing.
Can't imagine NOT doing it!
(Editor's Note: The author initially submitted
this as a "feedback" item, but we liked it so much as
a commentary that we provide it as our Gwinnett Commentary.)
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