Sometimes we make assumptions
before we realize what we're doing
By Elaine Fuerst
Special to GwinnettForum.com

(Editor's Note: Elaine Fuerst is the former owner of Marketing Essentials, a local consulting firm for small businesses. -- eeb)

NORCROSS, Oct. 5, 2001 - - To look at me, you might not be able to tell I am Lebanese. But with my tan, dark eyes and dark hair, you sense something Middle Eastern about me. I was born in New York and am Catholic. Like others, I am fearful that I'll be profiled as a "terrorist" or "a hot head. "

I was raised in Laurel, Miss., about as southern a town as you can get. It was hard to fit in, but I persevered, winning friends through humor and charitable involvement. Because of my unusual upbringing, I try to be vigilant of the impact of assumptions. I remember an incident that reminded me how we all need to question assumptions.

Several years ago, I boarded a plane leaving New York. I was getting settled into the aisle seat and said hello to the woman sitting in the window seat. She didn't acknowledge that I had said anything. I buckled my seat belt and realized that the first thing that had popped into my head was "rude New Yorker."

Then I caught myself. As I mentioned, I was born in New York and have a great deal of family there. I know New Yorkers are not rude. In addition, I was a diversity consultant. I should know better than to make assumptions.

I decided to try again at making conversation with my fellow traveler. This time I looked her straight in the face and said hello. She responded and I realized she was deaf, and was reading my lips!

From that point on, we "chatted" and shared stories. She was on her way to visit friends, switching planes in Atlanta. When we landed in Atlanta, she didn't make any effort to move until I told her this was her stop. She would have missed it had we not been talking. So, I was glad to have been of help. After all, she had helped me deal with my own assumptions.

Cultural conditioning comes in many flavors. We interpret what we hear and experience based on our cultural conditioning. Then we react, positively or negatively.

Marketing to the diverse marketplace was one of the programs I developed and taught to many clients. I helped them develop creative ways to reach prospects they had not considered before because they were different from the existing client base in race, age or gender.

At some point in the future, we will have overcome our cultural obstacles regarding race, age, religion, gender, sexual preference and differently-abled.

But there is one last great hurdle, the bias toward those who are obese. "Fat jokes" make up the shtick on most sitcoms. Eddie Murphy's brilliant portrayal of fat characters in the "Nutty Professor" poignantly reminded me of how terrible it feels to be the butt of jokes (no pun intended).

What's your opinion? Are we still struggling with race and gender? What about the other "isms"? What have been your experiences? I hope to follow up with more comments on diversity issues, and I would welcome comments.

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