(Editor’s note: Today’s column is by an author and diversity and inclusion consultant with 16 years of experience specializing in adult education, adult learning and behavior, intercultural dialogue, and addressing and mitigating bias in the workplace. Learn more about her at PoultonConsultingGroup.com.—eeb)
By Dionne Wright Poulton, Ph.D., Snellville, Ga. | One of the ways we make sense of our world is by classifying or categorizing things and people. Simple examples include noticing the difference between a dog and a cat. Or if we see someone wearing a skirt, we classify that person as female. However, we should ask, “Are all cats alike? Are all dogs alike? Are all people who wear skirts female?” The answer to each question is no. For example, an Irish male friend wore a kilt to my wedding.
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Regardless of what we are judging or categorizing, we should not believe that all of what we see in a particular category is the same. For example, in my book, It’s Not Always Racist…but Sometimes It Is: Reshaping How We Think About Racism (2014, Archway Publishing), I talked about Rottweilers having a reputation for being dangerous dogs, but do we classify all dogs as dangerous? Do we even believe that all Rottweilers are dangerous?
We make distinctions between breeds of animals and even between animals within a breed. As human beings with values, feelings and respect for others, I argue that we need to also make distinctions among types of people as well—including those within racial groups, because no group is monolithic. Moreover, we have to remember that, when we meet a person for the first time, we need to be open and conscious of our assumptions, biases and body language.
We need to remember that we have at our disposal not just our preconceptions about his or her group membership but also information about the way he or she actually appears, dresses, and behaves toward us. I stress this practice even more when we encounter a person for the first time and that person reminds us of a negative event or situation involving someone who looks like that person.
It is important to understand that just because something negative happened with one particular person from a specific racial group, this does not necessarily mean that associations with all people from that particular racial group will inevitably yield negative experiences.
For example, as I analogized in my book, suppose you went to the grocery store and purchased a container of raspberries. In the store, on the surface, they all looked ripe and fresh, but when you opened the package after you got home, you discovered that many of the raspberries were actually rotten. Disappointed, you would not eat that particular batch of raspberries and would probably throw them out. But would that experience keep you from ever buying raspberries again? Of course not. You would try again and buy another batch at some point. This is what I propose we do with people.
We cannot let a few rotten raspberries keep us from trying raspberries again. There are too many people in the world for any of us to definitively say that all people from any particular race are the same. We need to keep looking for exceptions to our beliefs, especially when they involve negative perceptions or attitudes toward others.
In this New Year, lets be optimistic and hopeful about our race relations and be intentional about showing love and kindness toward others—especially toward those who don’t look like us. If we’re going to make assumptions, let’s try to make them as positive as possible. We need to assume that all people, like the raspberries, are good.
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