(Editor’s note: After a recent column raised the questions of what qualities affect youths while growing up in later life, we got this response from one reader who faced the death of two parents when a youth. Here is that response.—eeb).
By John Titus
PEACHTREE CORNERS, Ga. | As a boy, my family lived in a suburb of Philadelphia. When I was 10, my father, George, died. My mother, Clare, wanted to sell our house and move into an apartment. I, of course, did not want to leave my friends and the only home I had ever known. She told me we could stay, but as she would have to work, I would have to help with the household chores, such as cleaning the house, washing dishes, helping with the laundry, and taking care of the yard. She was teaching me responsibility.
Four years later my mother died after descending into alcoholism. Those were a hard four years, but during that time, I learned a lot about household expenses, mortgage payments, extra costs to help pay the township for installing a sewer system, and so forth.
Fortunately, my grandmother, at 76 years of age, was around to raise me. My mother’s brother, who was my Godfather, became my guardian. I still remember that, when I asked him what he wanted me to do, his response was “I just want you to be a boy again.”
My mother died in April, and I went directly from the hospital to live temporarily with my grandmother in Philadelphia. School authorities did not want me to miss time at school. They quickly located a young male teacher, who lived near my grandmother, and arranged for him to pick me up each morning and deliver me back home until the end of the school year in June. I returned to my same school which was Plymouth-Whitemarsh Junior/Senior High School. It was newly established, and I was in the 3rd graduating class in 1958.
Close neighbors were also important during my impressionable years. There were next door neighbors who took an interest in me. One who was meticulous about his lawn encouraged me to look after mine by sharing tools, showing me how to use them and staying “on my case” to see that my lawn was cut, and bushes trimmed at regular intervals.
On the other side was a couple interested in my school progress. Later, the man got me a job one summer during college. During the next summer, when I could only work about six weeks, as I had a six-week Naval ROTC obligation, this couple hired me to paint their house. Another neighbor was my Little League coach and taught me about good sportsmanship.
There was also a couple who took my grandmother and me to church every Sunday. It only involved an extra four miles for them to drive, but it was much appreciated.
An additional example would be another uncle, married to my father’s sister. She had been my Godmother. Early on this uncle had offered to pay for my college education. He was fairly well to do and as a young man had attended Princeton. I was fortunate to be admitted to that university, and he paid all my expenses.
Obviously, I had important support from my family, but many others – neighbors, church friends, teachers, school administrators, gave me support and by doing so set examples for me and others.
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